With over 37 million monthly downloads of her self-titled podcast – not to mention the best-selling book The Let Them Theory – Mel Robbins is helping people all over the world.
From sharing tips on letting the “meaningless stuff” go for a better way to get through life to her genius 5-second-rule for keeping motivated, Mel’s advice focuses on small daily changes and easy habits that can have a big impact.
And her latest advice takes this even further, offering seven “small, powerful habits” she lives by for those days when she’s feeling tired and overwhelmed. Introducing them as “small, science-backed habits that reconnect you to yourself, your people, and what really matters,” Mel’s seven steps include:
- Replay the Good Stuff
- Turn the Music on and Get Dancing
- Be a First Name Basis
- The Power of Showing Up
- Cheer Like it's Already Yours
- Be an 8-Minute-Friend
- Go Outside.
Let’s delve into what each one entails, and look at how Mel’s tips have plenty of research behind them.
1. Replay the good stuff
A very simple one, Mel reveals this is a newer trick in her life, and it simply needs you to “pick up your phone, open up your camera roll, and just scroll back into the past.”
As she explains, “When you see some of your favourite memories and your favourite people, something incredible happens.” Mel then shares that a study done at the University of California Los Angeles (UCLA) found that looking at photos of loved ones activates something inside of you that “helps you feel less stressed.”
Citing another source by a leading UK behavioural psychologist, looking at older photos of you and your loved ones can reportedly be as relaxing as taking a bath. And while you might not be able to do just that while out and about, you can still get that feeling of calm thanks to Mel’s small, practical habit.
2. Turn the music on and get dancing
A self-explanatory one, Mel’s second easy “tiny habit” is turning your kitchen into a club. Apart from being fun, it’s a trick to get you into feeling more present and focusing less on your to-do list and chores.
3. Be a first name basis
“Everywhere you go, learn people’s first names.”
If this sounds excessive, Mel explains that this small habit creates stronger social bonds, and makes you 'instantly more likeable and more influential in your personal and professional interactions'.
By taking the time to catch someone’s name, you’re offering yourself up as the kind of person who wants to let others know they matter, and they’re valued.
4. The power of showing up
From your friend having a bad day to being there when someone could need the help, Mel explains that “showing up isn’t about obligation, it’s about love.”
The key to this trick that most of us miss, according to the best-selling author, is the boost of love we receive as well as give. “You always feel better about yourself, and better about your relationships, when you show up.”
5. Cheer like it's already yours
"When someone else is winning, cheer as if it’s your win too.”
Citing a psychological phenomenon called capitalisation, Mel explains that being a cheerleader for other people’s good news is how you determine a real friendship. The people you “share good news with are the people you trust will celebrate the good news with you.”
There are people in all of our lives we won’t share our wins with, so try to be the person someone can always come to with their good news.
6. Be an 8-minute-friend
Tiny fix number six, and Mel calls this one “gold.”
Setting the scene, Mel explains a very relatable scenario. We all want to meet up with a friend or someone in our life, but we say we need to wait until we have an evening off for a long dinner. That time doesn’t necessarily exist.
Citing research by a Harvard psychiatrist – a director of the longest-running study on happiness – Mel explains that this is called the time surplus. And people spend their lives thinking that, in some hypothetical situation, we’ll suddenly find that time in the future to reconnect with a friend. Waiting for it means we lose connections.
So, instead, Mel shares the power of an “eight-minute phone call.” First shared in the New York Times, the concept encourages people to stop delaying that catch-up and just check in. Hearing someone’s voice, letting someone know you’re there, keeping regular contact – it just takes eight minutes.
The science behind it also suggests that it stimulates the release of oxytocin – a chemical that lowers stress.
7. Go outside
Miranda Hart has previously spoke about nature helping her battle with a chronic illness, and now Mel Robbins is also speaking about the power of going outside.
Mel shares that going outside and looking around for something that has you “experiencing awe” – looking up at the sky, at the trees, at flowers – is proven to help combat stress and make you feel more connected to the present.
